think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
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