Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Come share oat with me in your robe
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
