Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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