Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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