yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
