Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this beer tastes like vomit already
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
