I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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