I'm going to jail i love you
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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