I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
