I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
this just has baby written all over it
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Randomize
