just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize