You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
