Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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