Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
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and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
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I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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