I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
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