Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
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