Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
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1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
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You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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