no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize
