Ambien. No doubt about it.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
