So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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