i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
