I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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