I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
