There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
