saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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