Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
