My cat gives me a boner
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You need Xanax blowdarts
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