fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
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