I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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