i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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