I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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