Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
