i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
