I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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