What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
