just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
We need a shit load of segways right now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
