I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize