You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
