so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
