You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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