absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
even my farts smell like vagina
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Randomize
