So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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