I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize