haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
