Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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