Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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