I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
