I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Dear god my vagina.
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