allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize