i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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