trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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