I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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