It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
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