Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
The best revenge is premature balding
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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