trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
It was like giving head to a cactus.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences In Dating Men And Women
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.