how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
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I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
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Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life