dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
40s are totally the cure
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.