you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?