I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.