Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
